My CD Journey (Part 22-B) - Solo Drive Trip Up to Melaka [3rd Visit to Miss Y Studio - Day 2 and 3]

Saturday (Day 2)

Woke up early and drove down to the studio at around 10am to meet Joyce for breakfast. We went to a coffeeshop nearby the studio (driving distance) before we started today’s photoshoot session. For me, I have chosen the white jacket and emerald colour one piece dress as the outfit that I wanted to shoot because I have been wanting to see how I look. Back during the CD gathering last year, I wore that same outfit and other CDs commented that I looked like a female CEO. That piqued my interest to see how it will look in an actual studio shoot. That is why I chosen this outfit. As for the other outfit, I seriously got nothing in mind initially and was open to Joyce for suggestions. 

So after I dressed up in my first outfit, Joyce began to do makeup for me. As she did that, I was recalling the steps and checking with her about the makeup lesson we had yesterday. This is one good way to remember what I have learned as she was doing my makeup and I tried to make sense of what she was doing. After the makeup was done, we began the photoshoot. Joyce did said that too bad she never bring the leather whip, if not it will be quite an interesting set. However, I was quite happy that this outfit was used for this shoot and I was quite excited and looking forward to the outcome of the photos. 

As for the 2nd outfit, Joyce asked if I brought the sleep gown that I wore during the CD gathering. Luckily, I did brought that whole set just in case. So I changed up to my white lingerie set (Rago shapewear, white bra and panty, Secret-in-Lace white stockings) and white sheer sleep gown. I feel so sexy and sensual in that outfit. The feeling was so feminine and I really enjoyed it. The photoshoot went well, I was asked to give a seductive look and I was quite surprised that Joyce said that I managed to nail that look. Haha. I wonder how will it look like. Maybe this outfit brought out the desire in my heart, that is why I managed to get that looks, I really wonder… Can’t wait to see the outcome of those photos. Hehe…

After the photoshoot, instead of removing my makeup, I decided to keep it on as I wanted to wear it back to the hotel. I changed from my white lingerie set back to my emerald colour one piece dress outfit and I started to pack my CD stuff and guy stuff (that I wore to the studio) into my luggage. I also changed to my own wig as I was using Joyce’s wig for the photoshoot. My original wig was quite messed up due to poor maintenance. Thankfully Joyce helped to resort the wig by combing and cutting off those dead knots and crossed portion of the wig. She also helped me to style the wig so that it goes well with my dress. Joyce said that the wig that I purchased has volume and it goes well if I am wearing those gowns or dresses that has a flare bottom. So in order to match my one piece straight dress, she helped to tie both sides of my wig to the back and used a ribbon clip to clip it. It changed the look totally and I simply loved that look. 

After that, Joyce and I started to pack up and clean up the studio before I left the place. As I have never tried driving in heels before, I decided not to risk it. So I wore a pair of white socks over my pantyhosed feet and put on my track shoes. Joyce commented that I looked really funny and we both just laughed over it. I guessed I must have looked really comical as I was having quite a nice and semi formal emerald colour top dress but I was wearing unmatching white socks and track shoes instead of heels… 

I brought the luggage and makeup kit back to my car and sorted out all the things needed and so I began my drive back to the hotel truly as Francesca. I was all excited as it was my first time driving in CD form as Francesca. In my mind, I was worried about other drivers looking at me but I just dismissed those thoughts and focus on the road. There is a first time for everything but I was all happy, excited yet also a bit scare. I just followed the GPS and acted normal, I tried not to look around too much and try to blend in. 

The thing about CrossDressing in South East Asia region is the hot and humid weather. My car was parked in the open air carpark opposite Joyce’s studio and the interior of the car was like a sauna when I entered. I tuned up the aircon to full blast so that my perspiration does not damage my makeup and also I need to cool my head under the wig. Thankfully I was able to manage my anxiety, if not, my sweat will be flowing down my face and body like I had just taken a shower… 

The drive went well and I reached the hotel safely. Something I loved about the Noble Resort Hotel Melaka (also The Straits Hotel and Suite) was that it has 2 levels of carpark. The entrance to the lift lobby for Level 1 carpark was right in front where the security table was located. I did not feel confident or comfortable parading myself in front of the security especially when I need to move my luggage back up to my hotel room. For the entrance to the lift lobby for Level 2, despite there is a door for staff located next to the lift lobby entrance, there is hardly any human traffic there. So I chose to park my car in Level 2 and took the lift up to my hotel room. When the lift door open, instead of an empty lift, there were already a few people inside. I just acted normal and use my room card to access to my floor. Throughout the process, I was just looking down and tried not to make any eye contact. In my heart, I was hoping no one is judging me. Once I reached my floor, I went back to my room and made a sigh of relief that I made it back without any issue.

Since the weather was still quite hot, I decided to just take some time to rest inside my hotel room to cool myself down before I plan for anything. I doubt I will be heading to Jonker Street or what but I was planning more like walking around the hotel neighbourhood or visit the Watson, which is just nearby the hotel. While resting in my hotel room, I did a couple of selfie and costume change.

As the night drew closer, I decided to have instant noodle (which I bought the night before) for dinner before heading out. Once I checked that I got all my things ready in my handbag, I walked out of my hotel room with my selfie stick and camera phone in my hand, recording my process. When I walked past the Ground Level lobby, I was feeling all confident. However, when I walked out of the front lobby and past the hotel front door. I realised that all the other people were quite casually dressed while I was in my one piece dress, which I felt a bit out of place because I think I was overly dressed. I guess I still do not have the confidence to go very far… So, I walked to The Straits Hotel entrance, which is just next to The Noble Resort Hotel entrance, took the lift up to Level 2 carpark and made it back to my hotel room… Was quite disappointed with myself as I was hoping to at least walk one round around the hotel. I guess I am still not confident enough to dress out as I just feel so out of place with my dress sense… Maybe I should start investing in those more causal female clothing so that I can blend in more easily… Maybe…

After returning to my hotel room, I was contemplating if I should make another attempt to walk out again but I guess fatigue gotten into me as I have not been sleeping well over the past weeks due to work and other stress matters. So after a few moments of "camwhoring", I decided to call it a night...

And with a heavy heart, I decided to remove my makeup and wig and started to transit back to my male alter self… After washing up, I packed all my CD wares into my luggage and also started to get ready for my return trip home tomorrow… So sad that my solo drive trip is coming to an end so soon… Well, I guess all good things must come to an end some day…

Sunday (Day 3)

I was woken up in the middle of the night by the noise of spattering on the window, then I realised that it was raining quite heavily. I actually could not sleep after that as I was just enjoying the view and sound of the rain over Melaka from my hotel window… I guess I was just reminiscing the experience over the past 2 days and looking at how I have to head back and go back to my normal male alter self-life once more…  Could not help but feeling quite sad actually.

Slowly, I just try to catch some more sleep as it is going to be another 3 hours of drive home later. I managed to doze off a little and woke up at around 6:30am. After that, I began washing up and started to move the luggage into my car to get ready for my return trip.

After a Bak Ku Teh breakfast at the shop just opposite the hotel, I started on my return home solo drive. The drive was quite normal just that I was caught in a bad weather situation when I was nearing to Ayer Hitam area. Luckily everything went quite smoothly. There was just a short jam at the Malaysia side check point but much to my surprise, the actual jam was at Singapore check point… I left the hotel at around 8:45am and managed to get home around 1:15pm. 

After I got home, I immediately took some of the lingerie for washing so that they can dry by tomorrow as I will be returning and keeping all my CD stuff back into my lair.

Looking back at this solo drive trip, it was quite fun and exciting. There were some learning points about going on a solo drive trip, these serve as reminders for myself to never repeat those mistakes again… But then, I also had fun for 2 days and I do crave for more CD time. However, I do not know when will be the next time when I can CD or visit Miss Y Studio again. That is why I really treasure every moment I get when I visit Joyce’s studio. Well, back to my male alter self and start slogging again, until next time… Cheers. 

PS : After I settled down, I began to tidy up my thoughts and penned down the procedure from the makeup lessons that I learned from Joyce. I did my best to capture the essential points and I do hope I get the chance to practice them. If you asked me, I do not mind going for refresher again if needed. 😁

My CD Journey (Part 22-A) - Solo Drive Trip Up to Melaka [3rd Visit to Miss Y Studio - Day 1]

The month of June has been a busy period for my male alter self especially the 2nd half of the month. Events after events, incidents after incidents, activities after activities, endless matters to settle, family and work. There is hardly any time for a breather or energy left after each day let alone to CrossDress and let Francesca out…

However, Francesca did managed to get a break that she wanted so badly. She managed to go on a solo drive trip up to Melaka to visit Miss Y Studio again *grinning happily”. It is those once in a blue moon period where the stars are aligned, the wife is out for overseas work trip and the peak period for work was just over and I can make a quick getaway over the weekend to Melaka and let my male alter self just disappear for over 55 hours (close to 2.5 days).

Previously, I have made a few trips up to Melaka, either for Francesca or for my male alter self. However, this one is different because technically this is the first time I am driving up to Melaka alone. The first time I went up to Melaka, despite that I went up alone, I took a coach, so I did not have to worry about driving or traffic. The previous trip where I went for the CD gathering, I was with Katie. And for the rest of the time when I went up to Melaka, I was with my wife and her friends, so driving up alone is quite exciting but also scary for me as I do not know what to expect.

There are a few reasons for doing this solo trip. Although I would very much like to have some company to go up to Melaka but each of us have a different work schedule and I do not like to impose on others just to accompany me. This was especially true since the last trip when Katie had to wait for me while I was doing my bridal photoshoot in Miss Y Studio. I felt so bad that she had to wait for me and wasted her time instead of doing something she liked… I did considered asking other sisters like R but I guess it is not convenient as it was quite impromptu. 

Another reason is that I really need to train myself to be independent and daring when it comes to driving in Malaysia. The last solo trip I did was more than a decade back in Australia (as my male alter self of course) and I did not feel as stressed. However, when it comes to driving in Malaysia, I was having more cold feet as I occasionally saw news of accidents on the North-South Highway and also Singaporeans and Malaysians drivers are not known to be friendly drivers unfortunately. So this trip was more of a dare mission for me to toughen up my gut and also to improve my skills in negotiating with other drivers on the road over this 240km long journey…

This time round, I decided to book 2 packages with Joyce to maximise my time there. I took a Personal Makeup Course and a Personal Album shoot package, which were spread over 2 days. My plan was to : 

1. Drive up to Melaka early Friday morning and arrive at the studio by 10am to 11am, do the Personal Makeup Course.
2. Session should be done by 5pm to 6pm. Clean up my makeup, drive to hotel and check in (passport is needed to check in and the front counter service staff will need to verify your identity, that is why I cannot keep the makeup on). 
3. On Saturday morning, drive down to studio again, do my studio shoot then keep my makeup on and drive back to hotel in CD form.
4. Then Sunday morning, drive back to Singapore. 

This sounded like a perfect plan for me. 

Enough of the background and rationale, now on with Francesca’s solo drive adventure… Did not realised that I wrote so much, so this blog will be split into 2 parts as usual…

Friday (Day 1)

Woke up early and prepared all the things needed for my solo drive trip. Before leaving, I then realised that I forgot about my bottled water for my medication, so I went back up since I was still at the carpark. All went well so far and I just set off for my journey. I thought I managed to clear my bladder but by the time I was in the Malaysia check-point side, my bladder was full again… A bit of FML moment… Must be my anxiety as it was my first time travelling up alone. Luckily there was no jam and I thought of going to the nearest petrol station, which is quite near to the check-point for a quick relief. However, little did I know that I need to turn out at a certain exit in order to get to the petrol kiosk… Another FML moment… I don’t know to laugh or cry. So I just hold on to my bladder until the next rest stop, which is on the North-South Highway. 

When I saw the rest stop, I immediately pulled over and make a dash for the toilet. This is the part which I feared most about travelling alone… As I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I did not stop my car engine, neither did I pull up the handbrake. I only left the gear in park mode and I thought I locked the door before making the dash. It was after my relief and as I made my way back to my car, I realised that my engine was still running… Really a WTF moment. If I had someone beside me, they would have either stayed in the car or reminded me to off the engine. Luckily no one carjacked me or drove my car off… Looking back, no wonder my car was honking when I was rushing to the toilet. I guess the remote keyless system was trying to remind me to off the engine and my brain was too occupied to realise it. Thankfully nothing happened but this was the “highlight” of the trip.

After my relief, I was able to fully focused on reaching the destination without any other stop. I left my house around 6am and I reached Joyce’s studio around slightly before 10am. Since I was early, I went to the MacDonald nearby to have my breakfast. I realised that they had the Nasi Lemak breakfast set, which cannot be found in Singapore. I decided to give it a try. It was quite nice and really filling actually. As I was still early (Joyce told me to reach by 11am but I decided to leave early to avoid the check-point jam), I decided to walk around the neighbourhood. 

At 11am, Joyce arrived and we started the Personal Makeup Course. Before the start of the session, I was asked to dress up in CD form first before the conduct of the lesson. I dressed up with a black OL outfit together with a set of straight wig. This is where Joyce pointed out some of the common mistakes of CD is that we tend to wear the wig too low as we wanted to cover our original hairline. However, not all the wigs are worn that way. Next, Joyce began conducting her lesson. I brought my own set of makeup kit and Joyce taught me how to use what I have. Of course I was lacking in quite a few items and she used some of hers to supplement. Guess I got a lot more to buy after the lesson. Joyce really took the time and effort to show how the makeup was done on one side of the face while I tried my hands-on on the other side. So it is not simply a session where she did the makeup for you, you have to practice it too. She also explained the rationale for doing certain things, such as using concealer for the eye bags area, bronzer for my puffy cheek. I realised that Joyce has very sharp eyes for highlights and shadows on the face. While it is obvious to her, it took me quite a while to notice it. This course was quite informative and it can be a case of information overload but thankfully I have some background in picking makeup from YouTube so I have some fundamental to work on. I tried to store as much information as possible and intended to jot down once I am back in the hotel. The session went really well. Thank you Joyce for her patience as I feel I am quite clumsy and unable to control the strength of some of my strokes and I tend go heavy on the colour… Joyce’s advice was to always go from light to heavy, to slowly build up the tone instead of going heavy initially. If going heavy on the initial stroke, then I will got to sweep and blend off or even touch up/remove with foundation.

After completing the makeup, I was pleased with the outcome. I looked different from my normal style of makeup where it looks quite heavy and flat. I could not help but admire myself. I took a few selfies and Joyce helped me to take a few photos in the OL outfit before we ended the session. 

After the makeup session, I removed the makeup, wash my face and changed back to my male clothing before making my way to the hotel for check-in. The whole session took like almost 7 hours as I was quite a slow learner… Thankfully Joyce really took her time and guided me along. 

I really enjoyed the course as I got to practice makeup, learned a lot of tips and tricks, and cleared a lot of misconceptions as I picked up my makeup skills using mainly YouTube and there are a lot of things I was unsure of or there is no proper explanation, I just simply follow and go with the flow. One thing that I realised about Joyce’s makeup style as compared to other CDs makeup. Hers has more focus on the contours of the face. Even though her makeup is quite subtle and light but her makeup was able to make the face pop and more 3D as compared to what I observed of others where they tend to do blanket cover makeup, which I was also guilty of…

After checking in into the hotel, I went to Jonker Street for a walk and grab dinner there before calling it a night. It had been a long day but I really enjoyed myself. Initially I wanted to use the rest of the night to reflect and capture what I learned and penned it down. But I decided to run through with Joyce tomorrow when I go over for my Studio shoot session. Looking forward to tomorrow. 

Scent of a Woman

I decided to take some time and get down to blog about something I discovered. I have been getting books on CrossDressing off Amazon and reading it as and when possible (not as if I can do it openly)... In one book titled "Feminizing Men - A Guide for Increased Joy in CrossDressing" by Barbara Deloto and Thomas Newgen, I came across a chapter called "Olfactory Sense", which talks about scent. The sense of smell tend to trigger the brain to associate certain scents with emotion such pleasure, pain, danger and so on, or they can be linked to some memories, may be good or bad. This is one interesting piece of information that got me thinking... Beside the Tactile sense (yes, this is Chapter 2 in that book) that can heighten the joy in CrossDressing, what are the smell that I can associate with Francesca? Or what is the scent that is suitable for Francesca? What is the scent that can make Francesca more feminine and increase her joy in CrossDressing? 

Or likewise, for fellow CDs and TSs, do you put on ladies' perfumes when you CrossDress to make yourself feel more feminine? This really got me thinking hard... Outwardly, my male persona is not really a perfume or scent guy and I tend to perspire a lot and it does smell bad. I wouldn't want Francesca to be associated with a smelly body odour. I love those aroma diffuser scents that have sweet yet citrus, refreshing with flora undertone but to hunt for a fragrance for Francesca is no easy feat. I do use body sprays like Lynx and the last men's perfume I got was like many eons back. Somehow, those scents are "more-like-a-guy" thing and does not bring out the feminine feeling that I want to associate Francesca with...

Coming from a more holistic viewpoint, a lady should look, feel and smell lady-like. It will be a dead give away when you see someone who dressed like a lady yet carrying a whiff of male cologne or strong body odour, that does not give a good impression and not the way a lady should be. It will be a case where either that "lady" does not take care of her personal hygiene or she is not a lady at all... This set me on the quest to seek the "Scent of a Woman"...  

Based on my recollection, most of my ex-girlfriends and even my wife now do not really use perfume normally and even if they used it, those smell does not appeal to me somehow. For example, my wife loves to mix essential oil but she used it for certain occasions like for calming and soothing purposes when she is having her menstrual cramps and those smells do not let me get that feminine feel or scent that I was looking for.

And so, I began my search to find a suitable perfume for Francesca. My initial thought was to go into one of those shopping malls and using the pretext that I am looking for a nice perfume for my wife and go around testing the different perfume. However, it is like finding a needle in the haystack, especially when I got no good idea what are some of the fragrances that a lady will like to wear. I was wondering where to begin when I thought of asking this question in a Telegram group for local CDs and TS's. I posted the question and the sisters in the chatgroup were quite helpful by suggesting some perfumes that I can check out, they are the Victoria Secret Bombshell, Chance Eau Tendre and YSL Mon Paris.

And with this lead, this got me started on my baby step to explore the world of scents and perfumes. I was contemplating about going to the shopping malls to check out these fragrances and I even thought of going to Mustafa Centre to take a look but I thought, why not just use the power of e-commerce and do some online shopping. The only downside is that I cannot smell the scent of the perfume physically... After much deliberation, I decided to go with the Victoria Secret Bombshell as it was the most recommended. I do understand that smell and scents are very personal preferences but I decided to give it a try as this is my first official female perfume that I bought for myself as Francesca. 

After a couple of days of waiting, the perfume came delivered to my door step and I tried them out behind closed door. I realised that scent is light but still nice. I dare not use a lot in case my wife suspected that I am having an affair outside but I really hope that I will get the chance to wear it out as Francesca. In the meantime, time to research on where are the best place to spray the perfume so that it can last longer and smell nice. Here are some of engaging facts I found off the internet for your reading pleasure. Currently, I am quite happy with this purchase as it comes in three bottles and I prefer the Victoria Secret Bombshell Intense more as it has a stronger tone but I will still continue to explore other perfumes as the search for the most suitable scents for Francesca continues. Until then, have fun and cheers.

(Taken off Tiv Perfume)

(Taken off fragrancex.com)