Do you CD in your wife's clothing or lingerie?

A question for those married CDs, are you still turn on by your spouse’s clothing or lingerie? Do you CD in your wife's clothing or lingerie? This thought crossed my mind while I was doing my house laundry (yes, I am the one doing the housework in my house). I believe quite a few CDs started their CrossDressing journey through coming in contact with some intimate wears by their female family members, be it your mother, aunt, sister or cousin. For me, it was my cousin’s half-slip and pantyhose (if you remember how I began my CD journey here). Back then, there were instances where I hid in the toilet to try on my mother’s bra and it was giving me a hard on. Those were the time when my male testosterones were still raging.

Fast forwarding to 30 plus years now, I realised that I was hardly turn on by my wife’s clothing or lingerie at all, much less wanting to CD in them. Yes, it is that sad, maybe it could be due to a drop in my testosterones. On the contrary, I could be much turn on by my own CD’s clothing and lingerie. I wonder if other married CDs faced similar situation… I know that some CDs felt quite indifferent when they crossdress but that sensual feel of the lingerie or clothing fabrics can be quite a turn on for guys and CDs alike. For me, when the lingerie and clothing that I wore brought out the feminine feel in Francesca and she feels desirable and it can be quite a turn on at times. 

I started to wonder what are the possible reasons that I am not turn on by my wife’s clothing or lingerie or have no desire to even consider CDing in them… This could be due to the fact that my wife hardly dress up and doll herself, maybe not just her but generally Singaporean women do not really dress up that much unless mandated by their work. Maybe it is the type of clothing she wore, they are not made of the fabrics or material that provide that sensual feel. Yes, she does not wear satin or silk or put on pantyhose when she goes to work… In some aspect, she lacked fashion and matching sense, from inner to outer wear. 

Starting with the inner wear, I know generally it might be hard to get matching brasseries and panties set but this is one important aspect when dressing up is to have matching or corresponding coloured bra to go with panty. If it does not match, it does look weird… Look at pictures of sexy ladies in lingerie, their brasserie matched their undies that they are wearing, be it panty, g-string or thong, the colour is always matching. But for my wife, it is anything goes, whatever is on the laundry rack, she just take and wear… The type of bra or panty also make a difference. Due to hot weather and ease of movement, my wife has more sports bra, which is practical to wear but does not really make one feel or look sexy… She also hardly got an satin or lacy bra, so you can see how unappealing it can be… While lingerie are usually worn inside and behind clothes and we can hardly see normally but it does make a difference to the vibes of feminine and sensual feel to the person wearing and the one viewing or imagining their spouse to be wearing them. This is definitely one good topic for “Portrait of a Lady”, which I have not written anything for quite some time already. 

Next, in terms of her work clothes, she is a pants, jeans, longer than knee cap baggy dress person, nothing that fanciful, all her skirts are longer and over knee length. For her tops, they are usually oversized tops, long sleeved or fitting size tee shirt. No OL looks… For her shoes, no heels for her, mainly flats… So you can see, with this dress sense that is unalluring, I can hardly feel turn on when doing her laundry… Besides that, she is much smaller size than me and I doubt I can fit into any of her clothing. I ever bought her some corsets and lingerie before but she hardly wear them… Alright, enough complaints about her and my unhappy life, back to focus on the topic. I guess with all the examples listed above, that really do not give me the motivation to CD in her clothing or lingerie.

I know some CDs who are really fortunate, their spouses accepted their crossdressing tendencies and they are both of similar build in terms of body sizes, hence they can share their clothing and even lingerie, that is such a godsend and perfect match. As the saying goes, couples who play together stay together. Those spouses who can accept their partners crossdressing and even share their clothing and play together are like unicorns and are hard to come by. If I were in their shoes, doing laundry can be viewed a blessing and maybe a turn-on from time to time, instead of seeing it as a responsibility or a chore. And with that, this has come to the end, time for me to get back on my role as the “house-husband”…   

Who will you choose? Cis-Men, Cis-Women, CDs or TSs?

It is already more than a week into the New Year and I do wish to keep to my new year resolution to blog more. I have quite a few topics to write on, so no worries about running out of topics. One topic that I felt it might be sensitive but I guess I will still put it out for discussion. This was one of the questions asked during the pillow talk session at the CD gathering at Melaka. The question is about sexuality, so if you feel uncomfortable or will be offended by this post, maybe you should not proceed any further. 

The question asked was, when we were dressed up as a CrossDresser, will we be more sexuality attracted to cis-women or cis-men? It was quite certain that all of us there said that we are still more attracted to cis-women and we downright reject cis-men (that was why we rejected a request from a cis-man who is a CD admirer for this gathering). Then the question comes, what about another MtF-CrossDresser or Transvestite? This was a tough question but I guess there was a level of more acceptance among all if the other party is really dressed nicely as CD or TS. Some may feel that there is discrimination against cis-men as Male-to-Female Crossdressers or MtF-CD for short, are male in their primary sexuality and if we as CrossDresser can be sexually attracted to another CD, why not a cis-man who got similar “organ”.  

I guess this really depends on individual. I know of CDs who make-out with cis-men, there are CDs who can accept cis-women only and of course, there are also CDs who are bi-sexual. I guess there is a spectrum in terms of acceptance and let us not be judgemental here about our likings or inclinations as what is poison to one might be meat to another.

I am no doctor or psychologist on the topic of sexuality but I will just express my thoughts as I tend to dwell into the “why”s of things. I guess men are generally visual creatures, and we (addressing this as my male alter-self) are attracted to what we perceived as beauty in our eyes, it is normal attraction. In fact, I know of cis-women who looks at other cis-women and commented how sexy the other party looked, even women looked at women because they know how to appreciate beauty. What is more with MtF CrossDressers who are generally driven by visual simulation, know how to be more feminine than a cis-woman themselves and how to appreciate beauty, aesthetics and class.

I guess that is the main reason why some CDs are more acceptable to the idea of having sexual relationship with another CD as oppose to a cis-man. It goes beyond just the sexual organ, it come as a whole. The overall looks and feel, the make-up, the wig, the intimate wear to the outer wear and the feminine vibes radiating inside the CrossDresser themselves. If any of these are lacking, there can be no sexual attraction to another CD. This is why those baby face K-pop male singers or boy bands are not attractive to some of the CDs. It is also not simply just slapping on a wig, putting on make-up and wearing female clothing will lead to sexual attraction of other CDs, it also has to be coupled with the internal vibes of feminism, the portrait or aura of a lady inside the CD themselves.

What about me? For my male alter-self, I can accept all cis-women no doubt but I have my reservation for a CD in my male form even how attractive the CD may be. This is due to the logical mind in my male alter-self that will always upkeep that image for himself and be more guarded. However, when Francesca takes over. Behind that make-up, feminine persona and all, her heart is more open. She is also accepting all cis-women and towards other CDs, she adopted a more accepting and curious stances. Purely depends on the flow of things goes and how things developed, not anticipating or expecting, respectful play maybe, nothing vulgar or crude or extreme. I feel that is the level of acceptance I can tolerate. As a CD, I felt that I should be more selective when it comes to intimate and private matters and bear in mind that not every CrossDressers who CrossDress want to have sexual relationship with other guys or even other CDs for that matter. 

The discussion here is written more of a generalisation, based purely on my personal perspective and not supported by any scientific studies or evidence. Everyone is entitled to their views and also preference in terms of sexual attraction, be it with cis-men, cis-women, CDs or TSs (MtF or Ftm). There is no right or wrong, only your comfort and acceptance level.