I really like visiting Isabelle's blog as it is so well organised and the stories are all in chronological order and easy to follow. That is why I am contemplating between starting with "The Reason Why I crossdress" or "How it all Begin". After much consideration, I decided to start with the very beginning as the readers can slow understand the reason behind why I crossdress. As I aged and move on with my life, the reason for crossdressing changes actually.
For a start, I am a normal straight boy brought up in a normal big family, gone through the golden age of 80's to 90's. Why I say that the 80's to 90's was the golden age? Well, that was the time where I gone through puberty and also the time when ladies in Singapore really dress like ladies. Don't get me wrong, the fashion for female apparel has changed over the years and have become more alluring and sophisticated in the recent times, women are spoiled for choices in their wardrobe and can dressed up beautifully. However, what the women lack in this age is that touch of feminism or lady-like element to complete the looks... Hosiery... This is especially true in Singapore where ladies these days do not fancy pantyhose or stockings. However, back in the 80's and 90's, most working ladies will at least wear a pair of pantyhose for work. I know the subject of hosiery is a big topic so I will either have a separate post to talk about this or incorporate it in my growing up years...
Enough of sidetrack, if you read the previous paragraph, you might have guess how my beginning came about... I read from other forums and other websites how most of the crossdressers started their journey, it is either through an encounter with their mother's lingerie or sister's clothing. For me, it is not any different I assure you. For me, it is a beige or nude coloured half slip and a pair of grey pantyhose... Moving forward to the details, the things I am about to share is a bit more restricted, if you are uncomfortable to carry on, you are more than welcome to take your leave...
This is how it all begin... As mentioned earlier, around the 80's and 90's was the time when I hit puberty, I became curious about things around me in general and started to take notice of all that is happening. Not sure for those readers who are Singaporeans and around my age can remember this, but for the movies and television shows back then, the female hosts or actresses generally worn some form of hosiery (mostly black or grey in colour) underneath their skirts or dresses; that is quite a turn on for me... However, at that age and time, nobody talks about sexuality education or male hormonal reaction to me, not the educators and definitely not my parents... So when I feel saw those interesting sheer coloured cladded legs, I can feel some sort of intense feelings that I cannot explained... At times, there were also brassieres advertisements from Triumph been shown on television, the excitement just translate to down to "you-know-where". I thought I needed to pee because the urges felt the similar... I did not know that I was aroused...
Anyway, I lived in a big family and a couple of my female cousins would stay over at my place once a while because it is easier for them to get to work. My cousins were of working age at that time so naturally they had to dress appropriately for work; as for me, I was of schooling age and just starting out in secondary school around that time. My first real encounter with something sensual was my cousin's half slip. It all happened when I was taking my shower. I noticed a piece of interesting garment that is beige/nude in colour with floral trimming hanging around the bathroom. As I was curious, I just pick it up and that first feeling was so exhilarating. At that tender age, still not knowing things. I just felt my heart racing and there is a sudden urge. I really love that nice cool, silky and smooth sensation on my hands. As I have not figure out my male reaction and anatomy yet, I just put back the half slip and get on with my shower and dismissed that urge and thought.
As days goes by, another great encounter, same setup, same scenario but this time round was a grey colour pantyhose that was washed and hung for drying. My nature reaction was to touch it. This enthralling little piece of garment that is so silky, so sheer, revealing yet covering. I wonder what was that!!! Then I remembered that this looked like those "high socks" that the ladies wear on television!!! I was thrilled!!! I was really fascinated by all the interesting garments that ladies can wear and I really want to put it on... However, even though I desired to wear that pantyhose, my thought told me to put it back. The poor young me was so confused about the reaction, I just suppressed the desire and tried to think nothing of it in the coming days.
One fine day, luck was on my side, I saw that my cousin threw her half slip into the bin. Not sure why she threw it, maybe the elastic band was loose, but fortunately, it was not stained by any of the rubbish. Upon seeing that, an "evil" thought crept across my mind. Since I missed that feeling so much, why not keep it... So I picked up the half slip and hid it under my shirt and shorts, then I stashed it into some of my boxes that I used to keep my old textbooks. I felt so happy, especially that moment when that silky satin half slip touched my skin, my heart just got so excited... Following a few days later, another lucky break. My cousin threw away that grey pantyhose as there was a run on it. So I did the same trick and kept it in my secret stash. The beige half-slip and grey pantyhose became my first 2 official piece of female clothing... This marked the start of my Crossdressing journey...
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