It is already more than a week into the New Year and I do wish to keep to my new year resolution to blog more. I have quite a few topics to write on, so no worries about running out of topics. One topic that I felt it might be sensitive but I guess I will still put it out for discussion. This was one of the questions asked during the pillow talk session at the CD gathering at Melaka. The question is about sexuality, so if you feel uncomfortable or will be offended by this post, maybe you should not proceed any further.
The question asked was, when we were dressed up as a CrossDresser, will we be more sexuality attracted to cis-women or cis-men? It was quite certain that all of us there said that we are still more attracted to cis-women and we downright reject cis-men (that was why we rejected a request from a cis-man who is a CD admirer for this gathering). Then the question comes, what about another MtF-CrossDresser or Transvestite? This was a tough question but I guess there was a level of more acceptance among all if the other party is really dressed nicely as CD or TS. Some may feel that there is discrimination against cis-men as Male-to-Female Crossdressers or MtF-CD for short, are male in their primary sexuality and if we as CrossDresser can be sexually attracted to another CD, why not a cis-man who got similar “organ”.
I guess this really depends on individual. I know of CDs who make-out with cis-men, there are CDs who can accept cis-women only and of course, there are also CDs who are bi-sexual. I guess there is a spectrum in terms of acceptance and let us not be judgemental here about our likings or inclinations as what is poison to one might be meat to another.
I am no doctor or psychologist on the topic of sexuality but I will just express my thoughts as I tend to dwell into the “why”s of things. I guess men are generally visual creatures, and we (addressing this as my male alter-self) are attracted to what we perceived as beauty in our eyes, it is normal attraction. In fact, I know of cis-women who looks at other cis-women and commented how sexy the other party looked, even women looked at women because they know how to appreciate beauty. What is more with MtF CrossDressers who are generally driven by visual simulation, know how to be more feminine than a cis-woman themselves and how to appreciate beauty, aesthetics and class.
I guess that is the main reason why some CDs are more acceptable to the idea of having sexual relationship with another CD as oppose to a cis-man. It goes beyond just the sexual organ, it come as a whole. The overall looks and feel, the make-up, the wig, the intimate wear to the outer wear and the feminine vibes radiating inside the CrossDresser themselves. If any of these are lacking, there can be no sexual attraction to another CD. This is why those baby face K-pop male singers or boy bands are not attractive to some of the CDs. It is also not simply just slapping on a wig, putting on make-up and wearing female clothing will lead to sexual attraction of other CDs, it also has to be coupled with the internal vibes of feminism, the portrait or aura of a lady inside the CD themselves.
What about me? For my male alter-self, I can accept all cis-women no doubt but I have my reservation for a CD in my male form even how attractive the CD may be. This is due to the logical mind in my male alter-self that will always upkeep that image for himself and be more guarded. However, when Francesca takes over. Behind that make-up, feminine persona and all, her heart is more open. She is also accepting all cis-women and towards other CDs, she adopted a more accepting and curious stances. Purely depends on the flow of things goes and how things developed, not anticipating or expecting, respectful play maybe, nothing vulgar or crude or extreme. I feel that is the level of acceptance I can tolerate. As a CD, I felt that I should be more selective when it comes to intimate and private matters and bear in mind that not every CrossDressers who CrossDress want to have sexual relationship with other guys or even other CDs for that matter.
The discussion here is written more of a generalisation, based purely on my personal perspective and not supported by any scientific studies or evidence. Everyone is entitled to their views and also preference in terms of sexual attraction, be it with cis-men, cis-women, CDs or TSs (MtF or Ftm). There is no right or wrong, only your comfort and acceptance level.
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