Finally, I can work on this blog entry, “My CD Journey (Part 23)”. This blog post happened sometime in September this year, before my CD gathering in Melaka, that is why the CD gathering blog entry was labelled as “My CD Journey (Part 24).
My CD Journey (Part 23) is about my recent adult (18+) theme photo and video shoot in Xi’An, China. Yup, you read it correct, an adult (18+) theme photoshoot in China. Initially, I was a bit reluctant to share out this piece but it is part of my journey and I do want to keep a record of it. That is why I was quite hesitant to share and kept sitting on it, trying to find a more suitable time to blog about this.
This blog post will be quite vivid in terms of the description and revolved around certain sexual theme. If you are uncomfortable or unsure, please do not proceed any further, you have been warned…
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If you are still reading on, that means you want to find out more about what actually happened. Before I get into the details of the what’s, maybe it will be better to understand the why’s first…
Back in the start of 2024, I was surfing X (aka Twitter) and as you know Twitter’s contents are generally unrestricted. I came across a Twitter profile by the name of 摄影师TIGER and I saw his posts are mainly photos and videos of CrossDressers, his content varies from normal photoshoot to explicit photo and video shoot. That really caught my attention and pique my curiosity. Upon seeing his profile, I realised that he is located in Xi’An, China. I was thinking, well, that is quite a far place to visit. Maybe in the near future, I might find him for a photoshoot. Maybe… It was just a wild thought back then but little did I know, that seed of thought that I planted, just grew.
You may be wondering, why so sudden and why did I do it… If you have been following my blog, you will realised that I am in the midst of family planning plus I am going for my job rotation soon. Things on my male alter-self is going at a steady pace and certainly making progress, it seems like 2025 is going to be a super busy year for me. Hence there is a certain time factor that is pushing me to do things before I am fully committed to my family and work. This is the main reason why I decided to accelerate with my plan to visit this photographer.
The next question, why did I do it… Well, when I crossdressed, I still do get aroused at times if I feel sensual or sexy despite that age is catching up, just that I am in more control of my urges these days. There were times when I feel naughty during my CD session, I will do a short video clip using my mobile phone video just for keepsake (no, I will never share with anyone). So when I saw some Tiger’s work, it does spark my interest actually as the quality of his photos and videos are really professionally done, not like those captured by mobile phones. Coupled with the fact that I am getting older, I do hope to capture some really nice private moments for memories when I am still able to. And with that, it sets everything into motion.
The first thing that I did was to reach out to Tiger using WeChat to establish contact. Luckily, I can converse well in Mandarin, so I was able to write to him to ask him his rate and also the packages he offers. You can see the info below.
Just a quick summary
Package A is for newbie CD – One set of costume, basic make-up with 6 post processed photos for ¥699
Package B consists of photos and video and an adult hotel, one set of costume, elaborate make-up, 18 post processed photos and an edited video of not shorter than 3 mins. Photography theme can take private parts, private moment, SM and etc. for ¥1988
Package C consists of photos and video and a high class hotel, customizable, two sets of costume, elaborate make-up, 28 post processed photos and an edited video of not shorter than 5 mins. Photography theme can take private parts, private moment, SM, couple shoot and etc. for ¥2988
Since it is still in early part of 2024, I am still not confirmed if I can go to Xi'An, I dare not commit to anything yet. On top of that, I was still thinking whether I will regret if I do the explicit photo and video shoot. In fact, in the communication with Tiger, I actually asked what is the extend of “explicitness” that he is able to shoot, is it just lewd, public exposed, BDSM or what. He was quite open with his theme, which is quite surprising since this is China we are talking about. The next level that I need to overcome is my own moral stand, what is my acceptance level? I told Tiger that I am not sure about the extent of explicitness I can accept but I told him that I am open (for that moment) for discussion and suggestion. Since I have not confirm if I can fly, neither was there a plan, everything was still in infancy stage without a definite answer…
Time flies, before I knew it, June came and I started to wonder if I will ever take the plunge to go to Xi’An. However, just nice, things happened and the stars were aligned, I got the approval from my wife to go on a solo trip (sorry, can’t share the details of how I get the approval, but I can roughly share how I managed to convince her about me wanting to go to Xi’An). There are 2 airlines that fly to Xi’An. One is operated by Scoot, another is by China Eastern. For me, I chose Scoot as they are the only one who offered direct flight instead of stopover. So by July, I just booked the Scoot air ticket to fly over Xi’An in early September.
My wife did questioned, of all places, why I chose Xi’An for my solo trip. For one, I am an avid fan of China history and Xi’An is a place with rich Chinese history as it used to be the capital for 13 dynasties. Next, where to see Terracotta warriors, which is also known as the 8th wonder of the world. These are the reasons one can use if anyone ever asked what is there in Xi’An.
With less than 2 months to go, I planned my itinerary for my Xi’An trip using a local tour agency that was located in the hotel (the contact was shared by a friend). Even though my main purpose for the trip was the adult theme photo and video shoot with Tiger but I still wished to explore Xi’An as that is part of my objectives also. Luckily with the local tour guide, most of the planning and arrangement was done by her. Once the air ticket, hotel and the itinerary for the Xi’An trip are more or less settled. I began to reestablish my contact with Tiger. This time round, he has a Telegram chat account, so we used that platform to do the arrangement. I give him my trip plan and see which day will he be available for the shoot. He gave me the day and date and I readjust my Xi’An itinerary by removing and rearranging some of the places of interests planned by the local tour guide so that I keep one day free for the photo and video shoot.
So that is the general outline of what happened behind the background. Now, I will go slightly into more details about the preparation and the shoot itself. Before I fly over to Xi’An, I need to prepare myself for the shoot. In fact, the actual preparation started months before the trip was even confirmed. I actually started my weight loss regime at the start of the year when I conceived the idea of doing explicit photo and video shoot. I went to see an aesthetic consultant and was given the advice to reduce my calories intake. I was also prescribed with some injections that I used to help curb the appetite and spike in hunger pangs. That really helped to control my food intake and with a change in my lifestyle, I was able to achieve some level of weight loss and that helped to trim and put my body in a slightly better shape than before. By the time I am supposed to go to Xi’An, I lost a total of over 10kg, I dropped from over 85kg to slightly over 75kg now.
The next few preparation was my common prep that I will do before I go for any CD shoots or events, I went for my pedicure and manicure. I went for a haircut and also hair removal from my legs, my underarms, my beard region and also boyzillian by Smoovee Skin. Once all these are done, I am all ready for my explicit shoot in Xi’An, really looking forward to it.
Around a few weeks before flying over to Xi’An, I was discussing with Tiger about the theme of the shoot. He is not really particular about the theme as he told me that he is more focus about the feel and atmosphere. I asked him about things to bring, he said to bring my own personal play toy for anal play but I told him that I have none and I have not tried it before. So, next he asked about my comfort level with BDSM. I told him that I have not really tried it before either. But I told him that I am open to try since I have already taken the step so far… I told him that I have a bullet type vibrator and a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator that I sometime used to satisfy myself, he said those toys will do. After some consideration, I told him that I wanted to do a widow (未亡人) theme shoot like those JAV, that really sparks his interest as he said he has never done a widow (未亡人) shoot before and he sounded excited. However, he told me that he does not have the costume or accessories for the widow theme shoot. So I told him that I will bring all the items, he just need to provide the wig and a pair of nude pantyhose.
So I packed all my CD items to be used for the shoot (as shown in the photo below) into a few opaque plastic bags and placed them in the zipped compartment of my luggage. Then I brought the luggage back from my lair and to my home where I continue to pack my other normal used items like men’s clothes and so on. I always try to pack when my wife is not around so that she will not question about what I am bringing for the trip.
I flew to Xi’An as per scheduled, I will not share too much about the whole Xi’An trip but focus more on the arrangement with Tiger and the shoot itself. The shoot was scheduled in the middle of my whole trip there, so I made arrangement to have tours as per normal except on the day where I am supposed to meet Tiger. Throughout this period, I was in contact with Tiger to keep him updated of my schedule, I asked him about where and what time to meet. However, little did I know, my local tour guide arranged for a really packed day one day before the shoot. So I went out early in the morning and followed the tour and only arrived back in the hotel past midnight on the day of the shoot itself. After washing up and packing for the shoot later, I only get to sleep around 2am…
And as usual, I woke up quite early on the day of the shoot. Maybe I was too excited to sleep or it is my usual wake up routine but I woke up at 6am that morning and could not get anymore sleep. Tiger booked a hotel that is outside the main Xi’An city area but it is located in another new city that is known as ChanBa, which was around 20km or 30 minutes’ drive away and the shoot was scheduled around 1pm, so there is really no need to rush, but I was all nervous and excited for the shoot. I prepared the widow costume and all the CD stuff to be used for the shoot into my backpack. However, since it is still early, I went out to do a bit of shopping so that I can account for what I did today.
Not wanting to be late, at around 11:30am, I was all ready to leave. I confirmed with Tiger that we are meeting at the hotel lobby before I ordered a cab using the Baidu app. It was really easy to get around in China just using Baidu, Didi, WeChat and AliPay apps. Before 12:15pm, I reached the hotel, much earlier than expected, so I find a corner at the hotel lobby to get a bit of rest as the lack of sleep is starting to hit me. I messaged Tiger to informed him that I have reached. However, as something cropped up, he pushed back the meeting time to 1:40pm. He told me to check into the hotel room first so that I can get a good rest. I was doubtful if I can check into the room he booked as I do not have a China ID but Tiger gave me his name and mobile number, and asked me to try.
I went to the counter and told the receptionist that my friend had booked a room and he had asked me to check-in so I gave them his name, I was surprised that the receptionist allowed me to check-in on his behalf. Note that this is a luxury hotel not those back alley type of hotels, so I was really surprised that they allowed me to do it. Anyway, the room was on the 19th floor, so I proceed and went to the room first. I was quite amazed by the interior of the room and the view from the 19 floor was also beautiful as shown in the pictures below.
Not wanting to make a mess of the room before the shoot, I rested at the corner of the sofa for a short-session to rest my eyes. As the Make-Up Artist was late, Tiger messaged me to inform me of the situation. At around 2pm, both Tiger and the MUA arrived. They had asked the receptionist for help to give them the card access to come up so that I do not have to go down and fetch them. After a brief exchange of greetings, Tiger told the MUA to help me do make-up while he get busy with the setting up of equipment. While in the midst of the make-up, I was like asking Tiger about why he started this website or this business and he told me that it was because of his interest. It is really fascinating that he can turn his interest into something that can generate value.
After doing make-up for a while, I then realised that I was still in my guy’s clothing, so I inform them that I need to get change first. I quickly changed into my widow costume and let the MUA continue with her work. The interesting thing was, she was doing my make-up using a picture that she grabbed from the internet, which is a cover for the widow theme JAV. The make-up she used really lighten my skin, which made me look fairer. All these while, Tiger was busy with the setting up of the main continuous lighting and finding the angle that he wanted to shoot.
Soon after the make-up was done and the wig was donned on, I was all ready for the shoot. At first, the shoot went on as normal like any fashion or cosplay shoot, Tiger was directing me how to pose and also the expression. He was operating both a still camera and also a mirrorless camera that is used as a video camera. In his mind, when shooting, he was also trying to form a story for the video. After a while, the Make-Up Artist left, that is when the “real” shoot begin… Tiger started by asking me about my comfort level of play. I told him that if with a girl, I am okay. If with another CD, it is still acceptable but if play with a guy, it was a direct NO. Once he knows my comfort level of play, we proceed on with the more “explicit” shoot.
Initially, I was asked to pose in a sexy manner, like lift up my dress and adjust the stockings, then slowly, it escalated to touch myself. After things are warming up, he told me to use the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator on myself… All these while, Tiger is really professional as he directed and captured both still photos and videos. As things are really heating up, he asked if I have ever tried anal play aka prostate massage. To tell you the truth, I did had one experience of prostate massage but that was back in Singapore, some years back, where I encountered a masseur (those from website type) and she wanted to play the role of SM queen on me, she and her female partner did an anal play or prostate massage on me. It was my first encounter, it felt really strange as the female partner insert her finger into my behind and started to massage my prostate. The feeling was weird but surprising, I did had a climax based on that. However, it was the one time I played and it was quite some time back and I forgot the feeling.
Back to the shoot, so when Tiger asked me, I told him that I did had that one experience and seeing that the explicit shoot was already in such a steamy stage, I told him that I am open to try to let him finger me from behind. So he proceeded to tear a hole into the nude pantyhose I was wearing. However, he realised that he did not have any KY jelly, so he asked if I have any or have a lubricated condom… Luckily for him, I did have some lubricated condoms in my bag (don’t ask me why, I just had a hunch, so I brought some). So Tiger used the lubricated condom to lubricate his finger and he slowly worked his work into my anal… It was such a weird feeling that I felt like I was about to poop. My heart was pounding hard, I was all flustered as his finger goes into my rear and all these while, the video camera was on the tripod recording the whole process…
Besides using his finger, Tiger was also using the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator and pressing it onto my sensitive part. The play was quite intense, he varied the speed and pressure, I was moaning and trying hard not to cum too soon. There were instances I told him to slow down or stop to let me catch my breath so as to calm myself down a little to slow down so that I will not reach my climax so soon. Once a while, he will stop a while just to readjust the video camera angle or take a few still photos throughout this whole process. While all these were happening, Tiger also gave me a wireless mic to be put near to me so that he can capture the sounds coming out from my mouth, e.g. my panting, my heavy breathing and moaning.
I am not sure how long was the play session lasted but it definitely lasted quite a while. I was all exhausted and told Tiger that I was ready to cum. So he got back to his still and video camera and started to record the part where I do self-play and masturbate to reach my climax. And with me reaching the point of no return, I was completely tired out. However, with that ejaculation, I also entered the “sage mode” and get back the clarity in my brain. So I started to clean myself up, get change, remove my make-up and started to pack my items. At the same time, Tiger was also packing up his equipment and so on.
Once we were more or less settled down, both Tiger and myself chatted a little. I was commenting about the shoot and how intense it was and those breath-taking moment where I have to really calm myself down to prevent cumming. Tiger admitted that he did feel aroused by me during the shoot and that he was wearing a condom inside to prevent “accidental” leak (e.g. pre-cum). Normally, I will be offended but coming from him as a professional photographer and videographer, I take that as a compliment *grin*. He shared a bit more about himself, he told me that he crossdressed also but he is not good with make-up and he prefer to be the one recording as it is his hobby. I was sharing about how this shoot was like the pinnacle of my CD journey as I have never come this far and I would never imagine myself doing all these. I was sharing with him about the preparation that I made and so on. He shared that he should have gotten another CD, who is local, to come along for this shoot. That does piqued my interest but unfortunately I do not know when will be the next time I come to Xi’An again.
Tiger asked if I will like to stay over in the hotel room since he booked it especially for this shoot, but I told him that I already gotten another hotel in Xi’An city and I got to wake up early tomorrow as it is going to be a long day. So I told him that he can have the room instead. Before departing, I presented him with a small gift that I got from Singapore and he also gave me something in return as an exchange. I went down to the hotel lobby and ordered a cab and went back to my hotel. And with that, that ended my first (possibly the last) explicit photo and video shoot in a foreign land.
The processing of the photos and video clip took a month to complete and I was really pleased with the outcome in terms of the feeling and atmosphere. I will not share out the explicit photos but just a couple of the more normal ones to show all the outfit that I used for the shoot.
Overall, the shoot was really a mind-blowing experience. Having to travel over 5,000km for a photo and video shoot, an explicit type shoot. It was really my first for both. I have to commend on the make-up by the make-up artist. It is quite well done as it really made me so much fairer and really well suited for the theme. In terms of photography and videography aspects, Tiger really delivered as he promised, his main aim was the capture the feeling, expression, mood, emotion and atmosphere. It is not easy for him to operate both a still camera and a video camera and also change the lighting. The clever use of the wireless mic to capture those heavy panting and moaning that I made and input for the video really just made me blush when I look back at my own video… Really thank you
摄影师TIGER for taking on my request to have this photo and video shoot. I am not sure when will be the next time I can return to Xi’An to visit you but I really hope I will be able to come back for another photo and video shoot and maybe this time, as per your suggestion, with another local CD. Finally, this has come to the end of my blog entry (Part 23), to my readers, really thank you for reading this long blog post to the end. Until next time, Cheers.
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