My CD Journey (Part 11) - Getting bigger and bigger... Space [Secret Lair Upgrade]

How time flies and we are already 4 months into 2021, nothing eventful has been happening with my life, likewise for my alter-self except for today's topic about my secret lair. More of that later in my post. Have not been able to CrossDress as much but I saw that Isabelle and Gin have gone to a photography studio to have their bridal photos taken. It is so brave of them... Well, I have been considering setting up my own photography studio so that I can take glamorous photos of myself without the fear of people recognising me. This thought has been on my mind for quite a while already since digital photography has made photo taking much easier and equipment are more affordable now. In fact, after coming to adulthood and with social media taking to the sky, I have been trying to take nice photos of myself as Francesca especially since I learned the beauty of make-up and cosmetics... 

Back to today's topic, my constant pursuit for bigger and bigger... storage space. Back around the mid of 2019, after my first experience with online and app shopping, the ease of getting my hands on female clothing and life stress brought Francesca coming back into existence after my last purge. I have been buying things from WISH, Aliexpress, Lazada, Shopee and TaoBao, as a result, it was getting a bit difficult for me to keep them hidden. After I learned about storage space, I have been wanting to take up a unit for myself to hide my stash of ever growing women's clothing and accessories.

After doing some research, getting quotations and working on my finances, I settled for a cheap and small yet cozy storage unit to house my secret stash. I also bought a simple garment rack, some wooden floorings and a chair to allow me to dress up inside my storage unit... Dressing up in a storeroom is quite a tricky affair as it only allows you to lock from the outside and not from the inside, so there is no privacy and it also runs the risk of people who might open up your storage unit since it is unlock from the outside. Thankfully, I managed to figure out how to "lock" myself inside my storage unit and this allowed me to have some personal space to dress up. However, as my storage unit is located in an industrial building, so there is no aircon and it is be quite uncomfortable and hot to dress up. Most of the time, I just do a quick test of my purchase in my storage unit or wait for opportunities such as a solo hotel stay where I would bring my luggage of ladies' garments for a proper dress up. The photo of my first storage unit setup as as shown... 

Moving on, around beginning of 2020, I learned about those Work and Self Storage unit from another fellow CrossDresser and that brought me to another level of storing my female's clothing. The unit is actually a small work unit but I feel that the space is good enough for me. Most of all, it is air-conditioned and I can lock from the inside without the need to figure out how to skillfully "lock" myself from the inside when I was using the storage unit...

After having a much proper storage and dress up space, my alter-self just could not control the buying spree and urges, I just went on to decorate my place to make it more cozy and conducive for me to enjoy my dress up session. I went on to buy an inflatable bed, a foldable table and a self assembled wardrobe. I also expended my wooden floorings to give it a more comfortable feel as you can see from the pictures below...

I really loved this concept of Work and Storage space rental as it allows me to have my personal space to release myself and be Francesca. Despite the small space, this space is definitely bigger and more conducive for me to CD without any fear as compared to my previous storage unit. However, in terms of my vision to set up my own photography studio to have my own CrossDresser photos taken, it is going to take a while as this first auxiliary unit is good for individual storage and that is all. It is quite narrow and only sufficient for me to walk but not even enough for me to do a simple phototaking... 

After taking the unit to close to 6 months, I decided to upgrade my first unit to something more spacious. I managed to get a unit that was one and a half times bigger and it is a great difference as I got more space to dress up and to store my things. In terms of the floor space, I managed to squeeze out some space to take portraiture shots of myself using one of those selfie ring light with stand. This is not how my dream studio looks like but this setup is good enough for me. So every time when I need to do a full body selfie, I will need to set up my lights and move some of my storage boxes around to get the space I need. 

More space means more things, I decided to properly organise my ever growing stash and gotten quite a few storage boxes to help me sort out the stuff that I used to CD. I even managed to partition out a portion of my room to store some of my other items in the front (not included in the photos as these are truly personal). You can see my new secret lair outlook from the photos below. 

This new unit is really a nice and comfortable place for me as it even allows me to separate out my CD items and my personal things into 2 section; I actually used some IKEA curtains to partition out the 2 sections. In the front façade, it is my personal things that include some boxes and my other wares but behind the curtain, it is my CrossDressing and photography space. In fact, it was in this unit where I met another fellow CrossDresser who came by for a short meetup.

I held on to that unit for quite a while but I had been keeping a lookout for better storages spaces offers as the bigger the space, the more expensive it is going to get. So, wherever I see other CDs posting in Facebook about getting rental space, I was quite interested to ask for more details as I hope to fulfill my dream of setting up my own CDs space and photography studio but at an affordable cost.

Luck was on my side as one of the tenants in my Work and Storage space decided to move out and I took the opportunity to upgrade a much better unit. This unit is around one and a half times bigger than my 2nd unit and it is so much more spacious. I feel that with this space, it can allow me to take some nice studio shots with the proper equipment. In terms of comparison to a professional studio, it is still a bit too small. However, I feel that it is sufficient for me... For now. Haha... Anyway, you can check out the photos below. I was still in the midst of sorting out the items as I had just moved quite recently...

Now, with more spaces, I can better organise my stash and wares. In fact, I gotten some better flooring to decorate my secret lair to make it more cozy and comfy so that I can hopefully host some guests in my secret lair next time. In the meantime, I am looking around for some studio lighting in my pursuit to have my own photography studio. Wish me luck that I can get a much bigger and cheaper unit next time. Until then, this space is good enough for me. Cheers. 😁 

The bane of Photoshop, Faceapp and Beautycam for Crossdressers

I was still thinking what to write for my March blog post when I saw an inspiration from Facebook about Photoshop, Faceapp and Beautycam. I guess this post might offend some other Crossdressers and I do not mean any disrespect, but I just airing my opinions and stand on the use of photo editing apps or programme that distort the reality of things. 

With advancement in technology, there are so many softwares and apps that allow users to do photo editing even on a mobile phone; apps such as Faceapp, Beautycam (美图), and even photoshop are all available at the fingertips as compared to the days where photo-editing have to be done on a laptop or PC. Because of this, some crossdressers decided to opt for the easier way to showcase their photos. They chose to edit their photos heavily and post it on social media, in some cases, really misleading. 

Using this article as an example, a young Japanese female biker with a large following on Twitter turned out to be a 50-year-old man behind the screen. As cited, 

"I want to share pictures of myself riding a motorcycle, but no one wants to see an uncle," he said.

Souya said when he initially opened the account in January 2019 to post about his motorcycle adventures, he did not attract many followers.

But after posting a a picture of himself he as a woman he made on FaceApp for fun, he quickly gained 1,000 followers and decided to continue posting with his online female persona since."

This is my stand on use of photo-editing software, I am fine using photoshop or beautifying apps as long as it does not distort the reality of photo too much. For me, when I started CrossDressing, I did not know how to do make-up and I did not intend to venture so far into CD initially. Hence, I started by taking photos without my head in the shots. Even after I started to learn about make-up, in fear of people recognising me on social media, I would blur out my face. After I learned more about make-up and how it made me looked different, then I had the confidence to post my full face photos online and share with others; all my recent photos are straight from my mobile phone and no editing involved. 

Before venturing into make-up, I see how some Cross-Dressers are taking the effort to don on the wigs and put on make-up, I thought to myself, so much trouble and effort. Some of my closer CD friends actually encourage me to try on make-up when I crossdress, it is a totally different feel. For me, I take like almost 1 hour or so to do my make-up and cross-dress to get into the mood and feeling of being in the opposite gender, and it took me like another 1 hour to clean up and remove-up and etc. All these effort for Cross-Dressing, it is like a hobby, more like a mental and emotional release for me. 

Having to set this as the context, I feel that there are three levels to those CrossDressers who use photo-editing apps.

Level 3 - CrossDressers who dress-up nicely, don on a proper wig and put on make-up. They use photo-editing apps to beautify themselves, e.g. make their face slimmer and etc. (I am fine with this group actually, after putting in the time and effort to CD and make-up, who would not like to look perfect and pretty after all? As long as it is not too drastic, it is fine.)

Level 2 - CrossDressers who dress-up, some in this group chose to put on wigs and then use photo-editing apps to make their face more feminine, while others just use the Faceapp or Beautycam to make their hair longer and face more feminine. (This group is either beginners or just do not want the trouble of dolling themselves up. If this is the case, then they will really miss out the fun and sensual feeling of getting to be the opposite gender. Doing make-up comes as part of being a fairer gender as most woman put on make-up when they go out.) 

Level 1 - CrossDressers just photoshop their make-up faces onto photos of other women... (This is the minimal effort I guess. My take is, either they do not have clothing to dress-up or they are not confident about their body build. If this is the case, that is where the fun of CrossDressing is, there are so many garments and accessories to help women to achieve those beautiful figures, we CD should use them too. If all else fail, there is always breast or body form to cover up.)

To end off this post, I guess the saying by Helena Rubinstein really hit the nail here,  “There are no ugly women, only lazy ones”. Think about it. Cheers and peace.

My CD Journey (Part 10) - My First Semi-Out-of-Closet Encounter [My First Secret Lair Openhouse]

How time flies and it is already the 2nd month of 2021. I was so busy that I neglected my blog and to make matter worse, I have been sick for the last few days. Thank goodness it is not flu or cough but other ailments that I will not talk about. Finally, I decided to sit down and get started on my blog again. It is good to see other CD bloggers like Isabelle and Gin started to update their blogs again. Not much have been happening these days or weeks as I hardly got time to CD. Really missed the experience around the end of last year.

Anyway, just to continue from my previous post about breast form, fake vagina and secret lair. I will talk about my semi out-of-closet encounter with another fellow CD. This is not made up but a true incident. In fact, I am not sure if I have the courage to do it again. What does it mean by semi out-of-closet? Well, this episode happened around early August last year. 

A fellow CD messaged me on Facebook Messenger one fine day and and we started to chat. In fact, we had previously added each other as friends on another platform, Fetlife. We exchanged messages with each other for quite a period of time. The messages exchanged are friendly and I sense that this fellow CD is sincere. She proposed that I dressed out and have an outing with her. However, I have been a closet CD all these while and I was not confident to dress out and face the world. She said that now that wearing of face mask is mandatory, people will not be able to recognise us if we dressed out. I dismissed her requests as I am not comfortable to dress out to the public as my body build will betray me straight away. I am too stout to be a female and people can tell immediately that I am a crossdresser. 

Up till this stage, all my social media photos are either without my head or even when it is with my head, I would censored my face. The reason was that I am still not ready to face the world even with a make-up face. Not many have seen my CD face except only a few closer CDs sisters whom I shared my make-up face photos with initially and this CD sister was one of them. After much persuasion and considering, I decided to take the plunge and meet up this CD sister since we had been chatting with each other for close to 2 months and I felt bad that I kept turning down her request to meet up and dress out. After much planning and discussion through FB messenger and we decided to have a short meetup at my secret lair instead.

On the day of meetup, I was really excited as this is first time I am meeting up another Crossdresser in person. I remembered clearly it was a Friday and I managed to leave work on time around 5pm and gotten some drinks and snacks for my guest before rushing down to my secret lair. Once I reached my secret hideout, I prepared myself my wearing the breast form and fake vagina as I want to feel like a lady. I donned on my make-up and tried to make it as perfect as possible but I was having some issues with my fake eyelashes. It took me quite a while to make-up, I think I took almost one and a half hour to get everything up. I decided to wear a white long sleeve shirt, a black blazer, a black skirt and skin coloured tights. I added on accessories such as a neck ribbon and a black net headpiece to complete my looks. For the wig, I decided to choose my shoulder length wig as I feel that it looks better on me.

I waited patiently for the sister to come by. At around 7pm, she told me that she was on her way. I was thrilled with excitement as this is considered my first semi-out-of-closet experience. In the midst of waiting, I decided to take a selfie using my mobile phone. This was my first official selfie and I quite like what I see, hence, I decided to upload it onto Facebook and this became my avatar for all my social media such as FB, IG and Twitter.

The sister arrived at around 8pm, I opened the door and invited her into my secret lair. It is not big but I managed to show her my costumes and heels collection and so on. I passed her one of my old breast form that I had gotten from WISH as I had a better version from Eyung and I do not need any spare; It is good for me to do some housekeeping also as I managed to pass a leotard that I cannot fit in to her. I offered her a drink and a seat and we both just sit and chatted. At around 9pm, I told this sister that I need to go off as I will need some time to remove my make-up and pack up my secret lair before going home. It is not good to stay out so late on a Friday night as I do not want my wife to suspect. We bid farewell to each other and I immediately clean up my make-up and put my garments for drying before heading home.

It was an interesting and memorable first time meeting another crossdresser in my secret lair but I am not sure if I have to courage to do this again. Hopefully I will grow to more confident and have more appropriate dresses that I can dress out without been too conspicuous... Well, maybe, just maybe...

Long Hair or Short Hair?

Finally get to work on my blog after close to two weeks or more of hiatus. The new year has been a busy period for me as there are so many things to catch up after the government's announcement of Phase 3 opening. The need to cope with the new normality coupled with new year objectives just drained up so much of my time. The last time I dressed up, it was around the end of last year; while I see other CDs still managed to find time to dress up in the new year, I hardly got time to swing by my secret lair. Hope that I can squeeze some time out to CD within the next few weeks. Sorry for the ranting. Time to get on with the topic of discussion today, long hair or short hair?

Not sure if other CDs also faced similar problems like me when they crossdress, that is choosing the suitable hair length for their wigs. For me, this has been my longest conundrum as I feel that the shape of my face is quite weird and it has no feminine traits, hence I looked funny with certain style of wigs. When I see other CDs, the shape of their faces allows them to don on wigs of different style easily and they all looked so pretty. Using Isabelle and Gin as examples, the shape of their faces are somewhere like an oval or maybe a heart or diamond, which I feel is perfect for any wig length and style. For me, the shape of my face is like square but also look like rounded as I got two puffy cheeks. Typically, I feel it is hard for me to look like a passable CD with my type of face, this is the other reason why I prefer to remain as a closet CD.

Anyway, back to the topic, according to Quora, "Which type of wig is the most passable for crossdresser?", the advice for a square type face is to look for wigs that elongate the face with wispy bangs or off-center parts. I have to agree on this part as I feel that the off-center parts do help to bring out some feminine feel of the face. 

However, I am still stuck with the question of getting the appropriate length. This is where I stumble upon En Femme Learning Centre, "How to choose the right wig for your face as a crossdresser or trans woman". The website never really say about the length of the wig suitable for my square face but based on the recommended wigs, it seems that the wigs are all around shoulder length and nothing much longer than that. Based on this piece of information I gathered, I got my first wig from WISH. It was slightly longer than shoulder length and have volume. However, I feel that it is not really my style as it has slight curl to it and I just feel that I will stick out like a sore thumb and look obviously like a crossdresser if I ever wear this wig out. 

For my next wig, I got it from TaoBao. This time round, I ordered something that is straighter and just around shoulder length. However, the colour I ordered is not really what I wanted as the 浅棕色 (light brown) is really too light for my liking. In terms of length and volume, I feel that I quite like it actually. So I was stuck with this wig for quite a while before my next TB order. 

The next time I ordered wigs, I got it from the same store on TaoBao, I ordered the same wig but in black this time. I also ordered a longer wig that is 深棕色 (dark brown) just to try out if longer wigs suit me. Initially, when I tried on the longer wig, maybe because I am not used to seeing myself in such long hair, I feel that I looked weird. In spite of that, after a few tries, I quite like the longer wig actually. I posted my photos onto Facebook and a close CD friend of mine commented that I looked better with longer wig. Well, I guess it is rather subjective. To each their own I guess. You be the judge (if you know where to find my photos). Cheers. 😊

Portrait of a Lady - Part 6 (Slip and Half-Slip)

Finally get to work on my blog after taking some time for a festive season break, decided to post this on the last day of 2020 to mark my ongoing effort of keeping my blog alive. Anyway, going into Part Six of Portrait of a Lady, we are going to look at slip and half-slip. Technically speaking, slip and half-slip are internal wear and people generally do not see if as they are worn under normal clothes such as dress or skirts. However, I still considered them essential for a lady as they served multi purpose which we will look at in this post. 

A slip is a woman's undergarment worn beneath a dress or skirt. There are two types of slips, the full slip and the half slip. A full slip hangs from the shoulders, usually by means of narrow straps, and extends from the breast to the fashionable skirt length. A half slip (or waist slip) hangs from the waist. The word "petticoat" may also be used for half or full slips.

Slips serve various functions. They help a dress or skirt hang properly. They protect the skin from chafing against coarse fabrics such as wool; conversely, if the outer garment is made of fine fabric, a slip protects it from perspiration. A slip may be worn for warmth, especially if the dress or skirt is lightweight and thin, whereas in very warm and/or humid climates, a slip made from 100% cotton may be desired. Slips are often worn to prevent the show through of intimate undergarments such as panties or a brassiere. A slip may also be used to prevent a silhouette of the legs showing through clothing when standing in front of a bright light source. Slip or half-slip is generally used as an internal wear to protect the modesty of a lady, which I think it is important for any decent lady. 

Slips fall into two major categories. A full slip is hung from the shoulders by straps that extend down to the top of the breast area. Full slips come in a variety of lengths; some extend down to the upper thigh, some to just above the knees, or just below the knees, while others go down to just above the ankles. The other type is known as a waist slip, sometimes referred to as a "half slip", is held on to the body around the waist by means of an elastic waistband. The waist slip is also available in the same lengths as the aforementioned full slip. Waist slips that extend down to just above the ankle are often called "formal", or "maxi" slips. "Mini slips" are yet another size option for waist slips. They were first introduced in the 1960s to wear under a mini skirt. American Maid manufactured waist slips that had vents and a rear zipper in addition to the elastic waistband. These slips were made of 50% nylon and 50% dacron polyester. As an alternative to the full slip, a waist slip with a matching camisole can be worn. Depending on the length of skirts or dresses that you are wearing, you should choose a slip or half slip of appropriate length that is not too long or too short. The slip should offer enough protection from unintentional exposure and also protect the modesty of a lady. 

There is also a type of "slip" designed to be worn under pants known as "pettipants". In addition to pants, a pettipant may also be worn under a dress or skirt, and like slips, they are mainly made of nylon. Slip or half slip can prevent visible panty lines (or VPL for short). Before thongs or boyleg briefs became popular, a lot of women wore half-slips to avoid VPL. With more modern choices now available, half-slips have significantly decreased in popularity, though. However, they do still work in some scenarios, like when you’re wearing a skirt with a thin material. In this case, you want extra coverage with no VPL, so the half-slip is your answer. You can get them in silk or other luxurious fabrics if you don’t want to feel frumpy or dowdy about wearing a half-slip under your clothes.

Many slips have floral lace at the hem and/or the "vents" or "sideslits". Some of the older slips have decorations, such as a butterfly or flowers sewn into the fabric of the slip, and a pillowtab was also added to the waistband of a waist slip. The vast majority of slips are made of 100% nylon, while others are made from polyester, rayon, acetate, silk or in some cases cotton. Nylon slips are often shiny in appearance, and are very smooth to the touch, while polyester slips can even be more shiny with a real slippery feel, especially charmeuse or "satin" slips. Although charmeuse slips have very attractive eye appeal, they are not as durable as nylon slips, and often tear very easily, especially when wet.

Most of the slips made today are very plain, and are lacking in detail. Intricate decorations and lace designs are almost completely absent from modern day slips. Slips are not worn nearly as much as a few decades ago. Most transparent skirts and dresses now come with a lining, thus rendering slips redundant. Since the late 20th century, dresses closely based on slips have become very popular.

With change in times, some slip and half-slip also changed their design and use of different material to incorporate some form of shapewear function to help shape the body of a woman while still providing the function that it was suppose to do, which is to offer some form of modesty and also protection of skin while helping the dress and skirt to hang loose. 

Slip and half-slip do not only have to be worn as internal wear underneath normal clothing; for some ladies, they wear slip or half-slip as a bedtime wear, which is quite comfy and cooling because of the material used. Some ladies match their half-slip with a camisole top as their sleepwear as it offers intimate yet nice and smooth feeling on the skin. Hopefully more ladies and CDs will consider wearing slip or half-slip in the future. Cheers and Happy New Year.

My CD Journey (Part 9) - Breast Form and Fake Vagina [Key to Voluptuous Figure]

I have been going really slow with my blogging these days. Maybe I lose the enthusiasm that I had when I first started blogging, and this is like my 20 over posts and there are not many people visiting my blog these days except a few of my closer CD friends. 😊 But I feel that it is alright as I am quite a private person to start of with and I wanted my CD persona to be more closet. Initially, I shared my blog address on my Twitter and my Instagram but I was having visitors from overseas and I feel uncomfortable about it, hence I removed the address except on my Facebook.

Anyway, I cannot believe that I am already into Part 9 of My CrossDressing Journey. Isabelle updated her blog to Part 7 of her CD Journey, so I guess she will constantly update when she feels like it or when there are new progress in her CD persona. I think I will do the same likewise and I will probably go slow with my CD journey posting as all the stories so far has lead to this stage... I was contemplating about having a separate post to talk about Breast Form and how to select them, but I just realised that it was part of my CD process of discovery, so I will share it on this post instead.

Continuing from my previous post talking about my self-discovery of cosmetics and also my quest to revamp the secret lair. A few things were in my head at that time, I was pondering how to go about changing my secret lair to be like really a personalized, livable private space to dress up and I was also thinking on how to make myself look and feel more feminine in term as a whole, not just the face but also in terms of figure. I realised that, in order to be more female like, I will also need to create a figure that helps to accentuate the assets of a woman, that means I need to have breasts and a nice hips. 

Typically, a male figure tends to be more top heavy (unless he has a belly), and for a female figure, the body shape tends to be hourglass shape where the boobs and hips are bigger than the waist, therefore leading to an hourglass figure. Hence in order to be more feminine, I will need a breast form and hip pad. However, being a starting CrossDresser, I did not intend to go so deep in initially as it can be quite expensive get breast form and hip pad. How I achieve "breast" in the beginning phase was to stuff pantyhose rolled up into a ball and padded them under my bra and on top of my nipples... It does feel kind of arousing...

So, taking another step forward into the world of CD, I started reading up and looking at how other CrossDressers managed to create cleavage without the use of expensive breast form and I happened to come across a YouTube video showing a CD using two sets of Nu-bra to create cleavage. The video below is not the original but I cannot remember where I saw the original version that is much clearer. I believe the CD in the video is also a Singaporean but I just cannot remember her name. Anyway, I tried ordering some Nu-bras from WISH and did what was shown in the video. The Nu-bra did managed to create some volume around my breast but it is definitely a far-cry from getting a feminine figure that I was expecting. However, it is good for a start as the Nu-bras did let me feel how was it to have extra meat around the chest area.

After using the Nu-bra method for a while, I noticed that there was a problem. I tend to perspire a lot when I was CDing at home even with my aircon on, therefore it is quite hard for the Nu-Bra to stick on. So, I decided to bite the bullet and considered investing in a proper breast form. One day, while browsing through WISH app, I saw some breast forms that are quite reasonable priced, so I decided to give it a try and order a D-cup with silicone filling for a start. After much waiting and anticipation, the breast form arrived 2 weeks later and I tried it on. Initially, when I saw the breast form, I was quite excited and thrilled. However, after putting on, I realised that it was quite difficult for me to put it on as it is too heavy and tight. The breasts were not positioned correctly (or maybe I did not put on correctly) but I believe the weight of the silicone weighs the breast down so much that it looks abnormal. Not deterred by my first experience, I decided to order a C-cup using cotton filling instead. The breast form came and I tried on, it was so much better than the D cup version in terms of shape and looks. However, I guess I was still not accustomed to wearing breast form as the material felt kind of stiff, so I just stash it aside and never really wear it again. Adding on to those demerits, I feel that the features and looks of the breast form has not achieve that realistic looks that I was hoping for, or maybe I was not really into it...

Ended up, the best "breast form" I got accustomed to so far was a bra-type breast form. It feels quite real in terms of the weight and it added more meat onto my chest area. Nonetheless, after some persuasion from a fellow CD, I started to look into breast form again as she said that all those breast form that I got previously were from 3rd party and they do not use medical silicone, that is why they feel and look fake. This time, she recommended me to check out the breast forms from a more reputable source such as Eyung. I started browsing the collection that they have and was quite amazed with the range of products. My CD friend also recommended me to consider a fake vagina brief to feel more feminine... I was a bit hesitant initially but since I was already going in so deep, I thought I might as well check it out.   

The pricing of the breast form and fake vagina brief are not cheap, so I waited for TaoBao June 18 (6.18) sale and gotten it for a good price. They still cost like over SGD$100 each, however, I must say, the feel and quality is good. The medical silicone feels more flesh and skin like and the shape of the D-cup breasts was so much better than the one I ordered from WISH. I tried putting them on and it felt so good. At that moment, I felt like I was transform into a woman, with breasts, vagina and nice buttocks. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that with the breast form, it really helped to bring out the figure as I had a stomach (it is not flat, I got a bit of belly fats) and the D-cup breasts helped me to achieve a voluptuous figure... For the fake vagina, it looked so real and when putting it on, I pretended that I was a woman. It really make me feel so feminine, desirable and vulnerable all at the same time... While the fake vagina has added more silicone at the butt area, there is still room for improvement around the hip area. I checked out Eyung website and realised that they do have hip pads too... Maybe I should consider that in the future...

After I gotten the Eyung breast form and fake vagina, I decided to do a wardrobe revamp in order to keep my stash to a minimal. I threw away the D-cup 3rd party breast form as I think it was quite poorly made but I gave the C-cup 3rd party breast form to another CD friend who dropped by my secret lair for a visit (more about that next time). Before I end this post, my advice for those who are still contemplating about investing on a breast form, if you really want to achieve a nice figure, then invest in a good quality one from those more well-known stores, once and for all. I guaranteed you, you will not look back and regret. It really beats any cheap 3rd party type and it feels really good. Just have to learn the proper handling and care, and it should last you quite long. 

Anyway, sorry it took me so long to update my blog as this is the year end festive seasons and I just have no mood for anything. To end off, Happy CD-ing and Seasons Greetings. Cheers.

Woes of a Big Size CrossDresser

Was going slow with my blogging these days as it is year-end period where a lot of people are on leave, and I decided to chill a little and blog at my own leisure time. I was working on two other posts but got inspiration for this topic because of my recent 11.11 buy from AliExpress... So... how should I begin? Well, maybe I will start with my body build...

Looking back to when I was young, I was quite average build even after I hit puberty. I did not gain much weight nor did I gain any muscle mass, so I was quite fortunate... However, there is one thing that was enormous on my body... Not that part unfortunately (do not think dirty please). It is my feet. During my growing up years, I changed my white school shoes like every half yearly because my feet could not fit into the shoes. At around secondary school days, I was like wearing US size 9 or 10. My mum always complained that my feet was humongous. At the peak, I was wearing Male US size 11 shoes. However, in recent years, my feet size seems to grow smaller as I am wearing Male US size 10 to 10.5. It is not much but still better than size 11.

While my feet shrunk (a little), my waistline increased... During my army days, that was one of my fittest period. Not that I can get IPPT Gold but I was forced to exercise and run in order to pass IPPT. My Standing Board Jump and 2.4km run are always my worst... During that time, my waist was around 28 inches. so still quite an average or acceptable size for a guy I guess... After ORD, I went to university and focus on my studies and really neglected exercising. Due to the sedentary lifestyle, as expected, my double chin started to develop, my cheek grew chubbier, so does my waistline, it increased until 32 inches... However, thank goodness, after I graduated, I did a short stint where I took up some labour intensive work while I waited to land on a permanent job, that sort of help to put a stop and reduce my growing waistline. After some time, I gotten my first job and it required me to be stationed overseas for one good year. During that time, I curbed my diet by limiting my food intake and that really brought my weight and figure back to normal... But that did not last long as I changed to another job and the hectic lifestyle coupled with an undisciplined eating habit, my waistline ballooned again to 34 inches this time... Due to some medical reason, I was put on Duromine and that hasten my metabolism rate and suppress my binging habit. This really helped to reduce my body size, I was able to reduce back to 30 ~ 32 inches again. At my best stage, I was around 76kg, which is quite close to my ideal of 72kg.

As again, after my prescribed amount of Duromine ended, I thought I can maintain my figure and waistline but my willful work and living habit kicked back again... I tried exercising and fasting but it is not going too well. After some years, I found another doctor and I tried Duromine again. However, the effect was not as significant as the first time I took it... Metabolism is such a bitch... I tried to control my lifestyle but to no avail... Now that I am married... You know what that means... Whatever the wife cannot finish, she will pass to me... So you see, how to maintain a slim and slender figure like other CrossDressers that I see on social media... 

Now, I have been putting more effort these days to exercise regularly and hopefully can cut back on my waistline... I am currently at around 1.74 to 1.75m tall, with a broad shoulder, weighing in at around 84kg with a 36 inch waistline and a 26.5cm for my feet, buying female clothing or shoes is NOT EASY feat for me... I have to go for XXXL or 4XL to 5XL or even 6XL... There is a limit to what I can buy from shopping apps like TaoBao or AliExpress... In fact, at times, I thought that by wearing some body shaper can help to slim down my figure but it was not really working that great except for some corsets. Nevertheless, it is not all the time that I want to put on the corset as it is quite restrictive... Back to the topic, quite a few times, I underestimated myself as I thought that the corset can help to slim my waist and that will help me to fit into any clothing. Totally bad assumption here... For clothing, it comes as a whole package, the neck, the shoulder, the breast form (if you are wearing), the waist, the length of the arms and body and everything need to considered when shopping for garments such as a gown or dress. So, every time when I lay my eyes on some beautiful dresses or gowns, I have to look at the size available even before looking any further.

I guess the worst for me is the shoes or heels... Here is what I learned, the higher the heels, the bigger the size you will need. The largest heels size I have is Size 45 actually, the normal heels that I have are usually Size 43 or 44... Shopping for heels or pumps is such a depressing thing for me as all those designs that I like, I cannot find the suitable size. There used to have a shoe shop in Singapore that sell large size heels, it was called Payless Shoes and they used to have a few branches in Singapore. Unfortunately, they closed down in the last few years. Now, I can only shop online and for most online stores, the biggest they have is probably a Size 10 or Size 40, that should fit a 24.5 to 25.5cm foot... So every time I saw a pumps I like, I will always check for the largest that they have or DM the store to check if they have stock or to check if it was a mistake as there were a few incidents where I placed an order for the heels and the store contacted me and said that they do not have the size I wanted and they only have 42 largest... It is really frustrating at times because some of the designs are what I really wanted to complete my looks... Oh well... The woes of a big size crossdresser...

Not sure if any CrossDressers out there who are like me, facing problems of finding suitable women's garments that can fit them... From what I can tell, most of the Western countries have CD friendly website stores and have female clothing and shoes that are tailored to men size for crossdressing. For those who wish to have to see the conversion from Male to Female, you can use the CrossDressing Clothing Size Conversion charts or Men to Women Shoes Conversion below for reference or as a general guide. Anyway, Happy CrossDressing and Happy Shopping. Cheers. 😊